Fire Pit, S'mores and Camping Outside Under The Stars

Tonight is our last night with the Ham's in Woodland Park, CO.  Boy, did we have a great time.  We culminated our time by building a fire in the Ham's backyard.  Britt spent many summers as a camp director and builds amazing fires.  The wood in Colorado is so dry, the fire started immediately or maybe Britt just made it seem easy.

The boys and the rest of us plus the neighbors, Doug and Patty, joined us all and roasted some marshmallows.  As the night air cooled us, the fire warmed us.  I personally ate 3 S'more's.  So bad for you, but so good for the taste buds!  Yum! 

We drank some Kenya Bold Starbucks coffee and chatted about how great these last 10 days have been.  Alex and Jack are as close as ever.  We've never felt closer to Britt and Michelle.  The time just flew by. 

Then, the boys broke out the sleeping bags, laid them on the trampoline.  I laid next to Kaden and Alex and just looked at the wonder of the stars with them.  Out in the middle of the outskirts of Woodland Park, the sky was so clear.  In our plain site, we could see hundreds of stars all around us.  The boys quickly found the big dipper and little dipper.  Then, after Doug and Patty left, Britt, Michelle and Krissy joined us on the trampoline.  We cuddled up close, had some laughs about the trampoline breaking with over 800 lbs of weight and prayed. 

Kaden was the first to fall asleep at 10:30pm.  Alex and Jack kept laughing and joking around saying "butt", "fart" and "poop" a lot.  It's the simple things that keep them entertained!  After a while, the girls got cold and Dylan went inside.  Eventually, we made up a story about rain coming and the rest of the boys came in. 

It was a special night.  The boys are now finally asleep - after 11pm.  But, it was worth the memories.  Tomorrow, we leave for Nashville again.  We'll miss Colorado and the Ham's, but we'll always remember the great moments we had here on our trip. 

We kept a list on the Ham's chalkboard of all the activities and memories we had. The board said "Welcome Nordhoff's" and I kept adding memories around it.  I hope we get a picture of it before we leave.  It will be fun to look back on this special vacation.  We'll end it tomorrow with lots of hugs, maybe some tears, but we'll leave full of wonderful and special memories of our vacation with Britt, Michelle, Jack, Dylan and little baby Bennett - who wins the "Most Chilled-out Baby Award" of the vacation! 

King Me: Sons, Chevys and Sin - Part 2

This is part 2 of my review of King Me, a book by Steve Farrar I'm reading for the second time.  Here is an excerpt taken from the Swift Boot chapter in the book...

Linebacker, quarterback and tackle are positions in football.  Strong-willed, manipulator and compliant are dispositions in children.  That means that sons will express their sinfulness in very different ways. 

Some sons will fight their parents openly and relentlessly.  They'll fight you to get their way pretty much from the time they learn to say "mama" and "papa".  (These are known as the "strong-willed" sons.)

Other songs will try to smooth their way out of responsibility or just merely postpone it.  They will use every excuse in the book, even resorting to going to mom as a buffer.  They are great at using their witty winsome personalities.  (These are "manipulators".)

A third kind of son will quietly and almost easily comply.  This is the child who can slip under the radar, because you will breather a sigh of relief and say, "Finally, a kid who gets it."  But let me give you a warning - after years of experience with watching compliant children mature into adulthood in good families I've known well for years.  The compliant child is the one you must hone in on very closely.  You have to work extra hard at getting to know him.  And if in his compliance he begins to exhibit an unmasculine passivity, or unhealthy noncommunication and silence, this is the son you especially want to watch.  These sons risk becoming part of the new passive-nonaggressive Seibfelds of our times.  Why?  Because these songs want to please, and they hate confrontation.  So they find it hard to express their real and true feelings.  As a result, they will simply go underground to avoid it. 

Submarines run silent and they run deep.  That's how compliant sons run.  They submerge what's really going on inside of them.  Do you have a son like that?  Underneath this kind of compliant passiveness can be a harboring of feelings (legitimate or illegitimate) of hurt and anger.  And the longer it smolders, the harder this son will be to reach. 

Could these things be resolved through healthy communication?  Sure they can.  But if he isn't one to naturally expose his true feelings, and if for some reason he doubts that he will really be understood or heard, the underground anger and hurt will go on doing thier quiet destructive work.  He may compliant now and easy now.  But that hidden and unresolved anger will eventually turn him into an angry, rebellious young man.

Which is your son?  Maybe you have one of each.  If he is strongwilled, it could mean World War III.  This is not a war of bombs and machine guns. It is a war of the wills.  And this, gentlemen, is a war you absolutely must win.  He's got to know that the world does not revolve around him.  He cannot win.  He cannot control your home.  He cannot call the shots. Period. But when you wage this war, you must do it with calm, loving, but firm and resolute authority.  Don't draw boundaries one day and then waver on the next.  In war, there has to be rules.  And your son must know that you mean what you say.  By the way, the earlier in his life that you begin - age one is not too young - the better, and the more certain you can be of an early victory. 

If, on the other hand, you son is a manipulator, you will need to see through his manipulation and let him know you see through it.  Just because he delights you and knows how to make you laugh doesn't stop him from foolishness.  In fact, some of the greatest fools are some of the funniest, most amiable people on earth.  Obedience is not an option to be joked about, excused, or bargained over.  Obedience is literally a matter of life and death. 

What I am saying is that to be an effective disciplinarioan, you've got to know your son.  You've got to know what makes him tick.  And not tick.  It's going to take some time to get to know him.  Quiet a bit of time.  Just that piece of information may tick you off.  But it's better to be ticked off up front that miss the tick in your son's heart.

I couldn't help but try to identify my own sons.  I feel that sometimes they switch between manipulators and strong-willed.  In general, Kaden tends to lean toward manipulation.  He has a bit of the compliant child in him.  It's hard at times to understand what he's thinking deep down. Alex tends to lean toward strong-willed. 

I love my boys and I want to be the best dad I can.  The boys are now 6 and 8.  The most important fathering years are ahead.  These next 8-12 years will be critical for them.  I pray I'm ready daily to take on the challenge! 

Air Force Academy

Today, we visited the Air Force Academy in Colorado Springs.  I was very impressed with the campus and the program. The chapel is absolutely beautiful.  It's the most visited man-made structure in Colorado. 

The grounds are impressive. Maybe Alex will want to go and play in their football program!  I highly recommend visiting the Visitor's Center there and taking a tour around the facilities.  It took about 2 hours to complete.

Pike's Peak and iT'Z

Today, we hiked up Pike's Peak - the most visited mountain in North America.  It was a gorgeous, blue sky day.  The boys, Krissy and I set off on the 90 minute hour drive up to the top at about 9:30am from Woodland Park.  I highly recommend doing this.  It is called the Pike's Peak Highway.  It was a beautiful drive - sometimes a bit scary because there are very few guard rails along the road.  Many times you're just a few feet away from cliffs.  However, you are driving so slow, it really isn't that dangerous. 

Once we reached the top, we snapped some photos, took some video footage and grabbed some lunch.  It was amazing how light-headed and dizzy I felt being up 14,110 feet.  Everything moves a bit slower.  The boys loved it, but had headaches and became tired at the top.  I too, needed to rest a bit.  It was quite a difference in hight. 

After lunch, we stopped at a memorial which was dedicated to the writer, Katharine Lee Bates, who climbed the mountain in the 1800's and penned the lyrics to the song "America, The Beautiful".  I could see why she was inspired. 

Later, we drove around the mountain top some more - stopping at a scenic area overlooking the continental divide about 50-100 miles away in the distance.  There was a large snow patch there.  We took the opportunity to throw some snowballs at each other, have a laugh and climb up some steep rocks. The boys loved it - especially Kaden!  He is just such a happy-go-lucky kid.  I enjoy seeing his free spirit. 

We made it back to meet up with the Ham's again at their house.  We took a 30 minute break to get ready for the second half of our day.  We would visit a really great place in Colorado Springs called iT'Z. It is a combination of Chucky Cheese, an all you can eat buffet and an indoor theme park and arcade.  It was a real blast. 

The Ham and Nordhoff boys grabbed some pizza from the buffet area - always stacked with food - salads, pizza, pasta, desserts and even a wine & beer area for the parents.  Inside, there were themed rooms - a cartoon room (where you could eat and watch cartoons), a sports room (where the Women's US Open was airing at the moment), and a Hollywood room (where movies were being played - we caught the end of The Mask and the beginning of SpiderMan 1). Then, on the other side of iT'Z there was a large game room, arcade, fun rides like bumper cars, racing tracks and an spinning airplane flying machine in the center.  

All of it except for the prize games, was free to play for all of us for under $60 for a family of four!  We spent almost 5 hours there being entertained, playing games, riding rides, eating until we were full and watching movies.  What a great place.  It would be fun to have it in Nashville or Cool Springs someday!  It will put Chucky Cheese out of business for sure.

Well, that didn't end our day.  Krissy and I went to Pike's Perk for our coffee shop concert.  I might write a post about that tomorrow.  We'll see!

Back of the Napkin

This looks like a really interesting book.  I might put it on my wish list.

Check out Dan Roam's website.

Any of you read it yet?

Eric

Woodland Park - The City Above The Clouds

We're on vacation.  On Friday, we flew from Nashville to Denver.  We landed amidst thunderstorms and strong winds.  After we landed and got our rental car, we travelled out of the airport at 9:00pm and all around us were lightning storms - no rain, just flashes of lightening.  It was a great introduction for the boys to Colorado. 

We drove 2 hours from the airport past Colorado Springs and up into Woodland Park to finally arrive at our friends house, the Ham's.  Britt, Michelle, Jack, Dylan and their newborn Bennett, used to be our backyard neighbors.  We're coming up to visit them after Krissy was invited to sing at the Pike's Peak Christian Artists Festival and Woodland Park Christian Church over the next 10 days. 

The boys are best friends and when they get together it's like they've never been apart.  Britt and Michelle are so sweet to host us for so long.  I hope we don't become a nuisance.  So far, though, we've had a blast.  Here's what we've done...

On Saturday we watched Jack & Dylan's last baseball game.  They live in a beautiful part of the country.  Woodland Park sits below Pike's Peak - one of the tallest mountains in the area - over 11,000 feet.  We woke up on Saturday to crystal blue skies and headed straight to the baseball fields.  On the way, you have a majestic view of the Peak - covered in snow.  We watched them play for a while, then Krissy and I headed just down the street to the festival for soundcheck and Krissy's first set.  The setting for the festival is breathtaking. Sitting on the lawn, you face a view of the stage and Pike's Peak in the distance.  It's gorgeous.  Krissy's set went really well.  We met some wonderful people that hosted the event.  We also met a great band called The Sonflowerz.  We spent time talking to the band and their parents.  It was a good time of fellowship and encouragement.  The boys and the Ham's spent a few hours at a Baseball season ending party where they had burgers and hot dogs.  They had fun, they said.

Later that day, we went dirt bike riding.  Britt invited us out to a friend's house that live on some acreage.  The boys and I had a blast riding for over an hour on the open range on the edge of Woodland Park.  I rode with Alex on a 4-wheeler.  Kaden quickly adjusted to Dylan's bike and wanted to go fast!  Alex also got on Dylan's bike and was very careful, but always had a smile on his face.  I eventually got to ride Britt's fast race bike.  WOW - was it awesome.  I definitely want to do that again. 

That evening, Michelle and Britt invited Danny and Suzie and Trevor (the people who owned the land where we rode) and their boys (Nate and Sammy) over for dinner.  We grilled pork tenderloins and ate until our hearts were content!  Later, we roasted marshmallows at the Ham's backyard fire pit.  It was awesome!  Kaden stuffed 3 S'more's in his mouth.  He loved playing with the fire.    The boys watched a funny movie called "The Sandlot".

We had a great first day. 

Today, we started our morning off with breakfast at The Pantry in Green Mountain Falls - a small town just southeast of Woodland Park.  All 9 of us pigged out on pancakes, sausages, bacon, eggs, omelets, cinnamon raisin bread and more!  Yum!  After that, we went on a beautiful hike up towards the Green Mountain Falls.  There had been mountain lion's spotted up there - I have to admit my antennae's were up on the lookout, but we didn't see any.   I kept telling myself what to do just in case. Talk in a low voice, face them, don't look them in the high, make yourself big and slowly back away.  Luckily, I didn't have to use this technique. 

Michelle hiked with Bennett - I was amazed at that.  We made it about halfway and then it just got too steep for us all - especially Michelle and Bennett.  So, we headed back down and enjoyed the scenery of the area on the way down. 

The boys played in their basement for a while.  Kaden's been really curious about a couple of mice that have gotten stuck in the window sill of the basement window. They will probably die because they have no way of escaping.  Poor things.  Kaden and Alex have also been jumping in the Ham's trampoline a lot.  It's been fun.  They have a basketball hoop on one end so they can slam dunk little basketballs in there. Kaden's been jumping non stop and loves it when anyone jumps with him so he can sit there and get thrown up in the air!  He laughs so hard! 

Later that afternoon, Krissy sang another set at the Pike's Peak Christian Arts Festival.  The Ham's came and watched. Krissy did great.  It began raining hard just after Krissy finished her set with the song "Downpour".  Maybe she shouldn't have sang that one so convincingly! 

After that, we went to one of the area sports parks and played flag football with the boys for over an hour.  It was a turf field.  Really nice.  Britt, Kaden and Dylan played against me, Alex and Jack.  We had fun.  Soon, some other kids came and joined us for a little while.  It was fun!  Alex was playing like a wildman - he's ready for tackle football.  He was running through the other kids and making great catches and scoring big TD's. Kaden was also playing great - running past other kids and juking around to make some scores.

We had a nice dinner that the girls prepared that night and the boys watched the first half of Transformers.  Tomorrow morning we'll watch the rest.  Britt has to work in the morning, I'm not sure what we have planned.  I'm sure he's wiped from the weekend.   

It sure is beautiful out here. We're getting used to the high altitude - drinking lots of water, using chapp stick and drinking more water.  I'm a lot more tired than normal up here too. 

The Ham's have been great hosts.  They've treated us so well.  We love it here!  Stay tuned for more updates from The City Above The Clouds!

King Me - Part 1

I'm reading a book (for the second time) this summer.  It's called King Me and it's by Steve Farrar.  The chapter I'm reading is titled "Swift Boot" and it talks about boys and why discipline is good.  I found there to be a wealth of wisdom in this book about raising sons.  So, I thought I would do a three part blog about this important subject.  Here is an excerpt from the book...

...Your son is not a blank state of innocence upon which you may write.  The culture embraces this idea, in spite of all contrary evidence...

...Every man starts out his life being foolish. His natural tendency is to gravitate toward irresponsibility and self-centeredness... 

And here is the reason why.  Every infant is born a sinner.  The theological word for this depraved.  The biblical idea of "the depravity of man" is that every man is born with the natural inclination to sing, and that every part of his being is permeated by this inclination.  "There is none who does good, there is not even one...For have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:12,23).  The book of Romans teaches that all men, from Adam's sons onward, have been born sinners by nature.  That is the tragic state in which we would still be if it were not for the grace of God through Jesus Christ! 

The term total depravity doesn't mean that we are depraved as we could be.  It means that every aspect of our beings has been infected with sin....

...Every human is born not basically good but basically sinful...

Depravity means that every child will act upon his inborn nature without any encouragement whatsoever.  Did you have to teach your son to lie?  Did you have to teach him to say no?  He is a sinner by nature - which he acquired from you.  It's in his DNA.  You were born with that same bent, just like your father.  "All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way" (Isaiah 53:6).

So what does this have to do with foolishness?  The fact that he is a sinner means that he will fight the very things that are good for him.  That's what fools do.  And that's why you are there.  You are there to train him to turn away from his natural foolishness and lead him toward wisdom. 

Every dad knows what I'm talking about.  What a child is little, he doesn't want to go to bed (yes).  He wants to eat sugar instead of meats (not a problem for our son) and vegetables (definitely happens with our boys).  He wants you to buy every toy he sees in the toy store (yes).  He'll watch TV for endless hours or play Nintendo until he can't see straight.  When he can't get his way, he'll scream, kick or just whine and fuss and argue you to death, all in the hope against hope that he might get his way. 

When he gets older, he'll fight with his siblings until you think you are going insane.  He'll grumble about doing his chores.  He'll do everything he can to postpone doing homework.  He'll talk back to you or flat-out disobey you just to see if he can get away with it.  He'll beg to have the latest think everyone else has - and he will use the age-old guilt trip to trick you into getting it for him.  He will argue with you about whatever reasonable limitations you have placed in his life.  Why?  Because he wants to be happy and free.  He doesn't understand that happiness and freedom without responsibility and maturity is destructive to his health. 

In short, he will do a pretty good job of driving you nuts.  You just can't let him get away with it. 

WOW - this is a true description of where we are right now with both of our boys.  We love them to death, but they are driving us nuts this summer.  I hope that reading this will encourage us to press on through the tough moments we're experiencing with them this summer.  When we're having fun and relaxing, they are angels.  But, when we give them jobs to do or want them to do something that is good for them, it can be WWIII.  So, we press on!!

more good wisdom in part 2 up next...