What's In Your Wallet?

Last night I finally did it.  I took out everything that wasn't necessary from my wallet and only kept the most important stuff.  What I took out was over an inch in height when I stacked it all together!  WOW, no more back pain...and no more Seinfeld, George Costanza jokes!  What's in your wallet?

Two Great Faiths In One Candy Bar

Christ follower vs. Christian

Butternut Blog

What kind of people would give away a puppy - especially one as a cute and cuddly as a puggle?  Apparently the Nordhoff family, whoever they are, would.  A friend of mine forwarded this blog from a poor puggle named Butternut.  This puppy started a blog in hopes that his "Papa Eric" would find him.  How sad?  If any of my readers know "Papa Eric" or the Nordhoffs who apparently live in a place called "Nordhaven", please contact Butternut.  

Our prayers go out to you, Butternut.  From the looks of it, you may not want to find "Papa Eric".  He sounds like a very bad person to give you away like that.

Church Announcements

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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight:

'Searching for Jesus.'

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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those

things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a

conflict.

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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at

someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much

about you.

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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I Will Not Pass This Way Again,' giving obvious

pleasure to the congregation.

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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery

downstairs.

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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help

they can get.

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The Rector will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will

sing: 'Break Forth Into Joy.'

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th in the

church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.

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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several

new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person

you want remembered.

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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and

gracious hostility.

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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - Prayer and medication to follow.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may

be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from

the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are

invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would

lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the

back door.

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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church

basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this

tragedy.

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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double doors at the side entrance.

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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan

last Sunday : 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.

The Correct Pronunciation of Syrup

The great debate around our house these days is the correct pronunciation of the word "syrup".  Krissy comes from Michigan where they pronounce it "sir-rup".  I come from New Jersey, where we pronounce it "see-rup". Kaden takes his mommy's side.  Alex takes his daddy's side.  We tried to end the argument by calling a famous pancake place here in Nashville, The Pancake Pantry.  Unfortunately, they haven't seen the light yet and pronounce it "sir-rup".  That was a few months ago.  I sort of conceded, but also with the understanding that here in the south, they probably pronounce it that way because it's easier and less proper.  

Just recently, we watched Dan In Real Life again, one of my favorite movies, and they all pronounced it "see-rup".  Well, that just stirred up the old argument again.  This morning, over "see-rup" and oatmeal, I decided to look it up on Google.  Someone posted that it could be pronounced both ways on Wikipedia.  There was actually another forum where it was discussed at length, but no clear cut conclusion was drawn.  

I just went onto a blog site that seems to be much about pancakes and asked them if they could give me a definitive answer.  If they respond, I'll let you know. 2009 must be the year when we put this issue to rest.

If not, I'm afraid we may never be able to 'pronounce' a winner on this one.  Then, I will continue to say "see-rup" along with Alex.  Krissy will continue to say "sir-rup" with Kaden and we'll just have to live with it.  

Please send back any comments that may enlighten me on this issue.

Milk Day?!

Alex looked at the calendar and said out loud, "Milk Day?!".  We checked what he was reading and it said "MLK Day"!

I'm looking forward to celebrating Milk Day with Alex on the 19th.  Do you prefer Skim MLK or Whole MLK?

Nordhoff, the Red Nosed Reindeer

Our friends, Katie and Hector called Krissy today laughing. 

Their son, Malachi, is insisting that instead of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer," it's supposed to be "Nordhoff the Red Nosed Reindeer."  Katie told him that the reindeer's name is Rudolph, and our last name is Nordhoff, and he said, "Well, then, what's a Nordhoff?"  

Even after all this, he came home yesterday from school saying they made 'Nordhoff's' in class, and today they heard him happily singing from his room, "Nordhoff, the Red Nosed Reindeer!"

I never knew we were so famous:)

Ever Have One Of Those Awkward Silent Moments??

Have you ever had an awkward pause in a conversation where you could have sworn you heard crickets chirping? Now you can ACTUALLY hear crickets chirping. Check this out. TheCRICKETtoy™ is for any awkward pause.

Right now, some awkward situation is probably running through your mind. And if your family is anything like mine, the upcoming holidays should provide countless opportunities for this little green guy to interject a chirp or two. (great stocking stuffer!)

theCRICKETtoy™ was created by Jeff Anderson, a songwriter/producer in Nashville with a goofy sense of humor. He has several awkward videos posted here  and you can buy your own cricket on his website.  Matter of fact, it would make the ideal stocking stuffer for the teen in your life. Everyone knows they are full of awkward moments…

Like I said, check it out:

(yes, a PT Cruiser wrapped like a HUGE Green Cricket!)

Watch His 'Not the Greatest Singer' Video

P.S. I told him I would help him get the word out, so please copy and paste this entry in your blog and ask your readers to buy a toy and put this entry in their blog. I want to see just how many blogs we can get this fun, toy (Great Stocking Stuffer-only $5) on! I think we've got the next “pet rock” and it's fun to be a part of creating a cultural phenomenon!

Face Transformer

Have you ever wondered what you will look like when you're old? What about if you were a girl? Well, I discovered a funny site, thanks to my friend, Lucas Parry that does exactly that. It's simple - just upload a photo of yourself and you can create all kinds of ugly pictures of yourself.

I did some today of me and Alex. Really weird. Check them out.

Here is the link to the website you can do the same thing...

http://morph.cs.st-andrews.ac.uk//Transformer/

Have fun!

Knick Knacks

My wife said to me last night as we were going to sleep, "Our bedroom is decorated in nothing but knick knacks." I thought, "She's right." after I looked around our room. We began to laugh about all the little trinkets and stuff clogging our bedroom. It's getting crowded.

This morning, I laughed to myself again about the word 'knick knack'. It's really a funny word when you say it out loud: knick knack. Say it 3 times fast: knick knack, knick knack, knick knack. It makes me smile and even giggle.

By the way, if you've ever bought us a knick knack (and who hasn't bought anyone a knick knack) we love you and we treasure you, but we're in a phase of our lives where we just want to clean out some of the less meaningful knick knacks and focus on less stuff. It's more pleasing to the eye anyway.

A friend of mine wrote a blog called the 100 Thing Challenge. The premise of it was, If you could only keep 100 things, what would they be. Thousands of people have visited his site and shared their list of 100 things they would keep. I'm in favor of that.

Anyway, that's really all I wanted to write about in this blog post. Less knick knacks.

I hope this post has been a blessing to your life. :)

More about knick knacks:

Definition

Funny Movie called "Knick Knack"

Nursery Rhyme

The Retail King of Knick Knacks

An Apple Without A Home

A happy apple left us a note on our doorstep the other day.

The note read:

We are the apples bought at a store.

The buyer had too many and didn't want anymore.

He/she shared them with a neighbor who had too many too...

So, now they are sharing us with you!

We are good for a lady, a man or a boy...

So peel us or slice us and please do enjoy!

Love, The Apples

Just for the record, we ate the last apple on Saturday for lunch! Even the one with the face on it. He tasted the best. Burp!

Gas Frenzy And The Good Samaritan

Hello, it's me again. Last weekend, the Nashville region experienced a gas shortage due to the pipelines from Texas being down as a result of Hurricane Ike. There were lines all across the city with 10's of hundreds of cars waiting to get their precious gas. I was hoping we could avoid them. Unfortunately, on Saturday, we were very close to empty on our mini-van. So, we tried to find the shortest line for gas we could find in Cool Springs on a Saturday afternoon.

By 3:30pm, we had found our spot. The Shell station off of Moores Lane and Mallory Lane. We squeezed into a spot. Then, we waited. And waited. And waited some more. We noticed a larger gas truck had pulled up and was unloading gasoline in the station. That seemed hopeful, since most other stations had run out of gas. We knew if we waited long enough, the gas would be delivered. Now, it was just a matter of how long do we wait.

After about 15 minutes of waiting, I couldn't stand it any longer. I decided to take charge. I got out of the car, Krissy took over the drivers seat, and asked some questions of the gas station. Meanwhile, I noticed the line for gas had extended all the way towards the I-65/Moore's Lane exit (about 500 yards from the station). The gas station worker informed me that they were going to begin opening up the pumps one at a time in about 10 minutes. This was hopeful news.

As I returned back to the minivan I thought this was something I should share with the rest of the cars waiting in line - now a bit impatiently. So, one by one, I began informing everyone of the news. Every car seemed very appreciative. And I was starting to like my role as the good samaritan. So, after I informed about 20 cars, I returned back to the gas station and started sorting out who was going to go to which pump. In essence, I was directing traffic.

The pumps started opening up - one by one. Soon, after about 20 minutes, the line started to move. People were trying to cut in line and my job was to stop them and make them get into the back of the line. I was amazed at my boldness with these people. These people didn't like me very much. There was one guy who tricked me and told me he just wanted a soda. Later on, I would see him get gas at the pump after pretending to get soda. He had a big black Hummer gas guzzler. Shame on him. I promptly told him that he lied to me and yelled at him. He was embarrassed and making some excuse that he wasn't from here - he was from Texas. As if that would make me feel better about him cutting in line in front of hundreds of patient drivers.

One lady in line a few cars behind me was taking pictures of people trying to cut in line with her cel phone and threatening to report them to the police. She was mad!

As the cars started moving and I was directing them to the best pump for quickest service, each driver would smile, wave to me. One of the ladies drove past me and said "I Love You!". I had to laugh.

The lady taking pictures of everyone and making threats to cars cutting in line, she thanked me later and shouted as she drove past. "You are our good samaritan!".

I was loving my new role as hero. I felt like I was being used to help the situation. After all, I'm type-A and I couldn't just sit around and do nothing. Atleast I was out and about - doing something.

Meanwhile, my best friend from college, Don, shows up randomly and starts taking pictures of all of this. The boys love Don and he kept them having fun while they waited.

Krissy, my loving wife, of course, is making fun of me the whole time. She knows this is typical me. She is cracking up that I'm directing traffic and keeping things in order by kicking people out of line.

Well, we finally get to the pump and I join the family and help pump the gas. The kids are sick of me being gone. Kaden is crying because he is worried about me being out there. He just wants his daddy back. I get back, assure him that everything is okay, and pump gas. We finally get out of there at 6pm.

2 and 1/2 hours at the gas station. Atleast I wasn't just sitting there. I was doing something and felt really good. After all, I was the good samaritan.

Missing!!

Warning, if you're an animal lover, you might want to read this with caution.  Your heart might break!

www.butternutnord.blogspot.com

I'm a 'Fun-gi'

Someone (one of neighbors, we suspect) left a random note attached to a mushroom plucked from our yard.  It was dressed up as a person on our front porch. 

The note read "I AM THE MUSHROOM THAT GREW IN YOUR YARD. I HAVE A MOUSTACHE BUT DON'T BE ALARMED. I REALLY AM HARMLESS I'M JUST HERE TO SAY THAT I AM THE FUNGUS THAT GREW HERE TODAY." 

Yes, we might live on fertile ground, but the fungii are going to be cut down to size today. BTW - would the neighbor that placed this nice gift on our front porch, please step forward?! 

Nordhoff Is Famous

We're famous in California.  There's also a Nordhoff High School.  I can't believe they named a street and high school after me.  I'm so humbled...

Check out this Download NordhoffMovie.MPG .

Check out the Google Map.

Thanks to our friend Hector for providing the photo and video.

Little Known History

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.

This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. 

The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day.

The Nation al Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course,

As Sinko De Mayo.

I Was A Pickle This Week

I played a pickle this Sunday in our church's Carpenter's Kids program.  However, I looked strangely like a famous cucumber.  My name was Percy and I made kids laugh by pretending to get mad when everyone else in the skit called me a cucumber - even though I really was a pickle.  I was very sweet in the beginning and ended up getting very angry and bitter in the end.  Take a look at that picture and ask yourself how could such a sweet cucumber looking pickle be mad at anyone?  What can I say - anything for the kids!