I'm reading a book (for the second time) this summer. It's called King Me and it's by Steve Farrar. The chapter I'm reading is titled "Swift Boot" and it talks about boys and why discipline is good. I found there to be a wealth of wisdom in this book about raising sons. So, I thought I would do a three part blog about this important subject. Here is an excerpt from the book...
...Your son is not a blank state of innocence upon which you may write. The culture embraces this idea, in spite of all contrary evidence...
...Every man starts out his life being foolish. His natural tendency is to gravitate toward irresponsibility and self-centeredness...
And here is the reason why. Every infant is born a sinner. The theological word for this depraved. The biblical idea of "the depravity of man" is that every man is born with the natural inclination to sing, and that every part of his being is permeated by this inclination. "There is none who does good, there is not even one...For have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:12,23). The book of Romans teaches that all men, from Adam's sons onward, have been born sinners by nature. That is the tragic state in which we would still be if it were not for the grace of God through Jesus Christ!
The term total depravity doesn't mean that we are depraved as we could be. It means that every aspect of our beings has been infected with sin....
...Every human is born not basically good but basically sinful...
Depravity means that every child will act upon his inborn nature without any encouragement whatsoever. Did you have to teach your son to lie? Did you have to teach him to say no? He is a sinner by nature - which he acquired from you. It's in his DNA. You were born with that same bent, just like your father. "All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way" (Isaiah 53:6).
So what does this have to do with foolishness? The fact that he is a sinner means that he will fight the very things that are good for him. That's what fools do. And that's why you are there. You are there to train him to turn away from his natural foolishness and lead him toward wisdom.
Every dad knows what I'm talking about. What a child is little, he doesn't want to go to bed (yes). He wants to eat sugar instead of meats (not a problem for our son) and vegetables (definitely happens with our boys). He wants you to buy every toy he sees in the toy store (yes). He'll watch TV for endless hours or play Nintendo until he can't see straight. When he can't get his way, he'll scream, kick or just whine and fuss and argue you to death, all in the hope against hope that he might get his way.
When he gets older, he'll fight with his siblings until you think you are going insane. He'll grumble about doing his chores. He'll do everything he can to postpone doing homework. He'll talk back to you or flat-out disobey you just to see if he can get away with it. He'll beg to have the latest think everyone else has - and he will use the age-old guilt trip to trick you into getting it for him. He will argue with you about whatever reasonable limitations you have placed in his life. Why? Because he wants to be happy and free. He doesn't understand that happiness and freedom without responsibility and maturity is destructive to his health.
In short, he will do a pretty good job of driving you nuts. You just can't let him get away with it.
WOW - this is a true description of where we are right now with both of our boys. We love them to death, but they are driving us nuts this summer. I hope that reading this will encourage us to press on through the tough moments we're experiencing with them this summer. When we're having fun and relaxing, they are angels. But, when we give them jobs to do or want them to do something that is good for them, it can be WWIII. So, we press on!!
more good wisdom in part 2 up next...
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